I recently watched a very interesting movie called Arrival. It is very thought provoking and the most intelligent film I have watched in a long time. It covers several themes but the one that I will focus on now is the idea of time being an illusion and the consequences of knowing your future. The question then becomes, would you do things differently if you knew what would happen? In the film, the main character, Dr Louise Banks, played by Amy Adams, can see that she will have a daughter with a genetic abnormality that means she will not live long. This turned out to be a subject close to my heart.

As a parent of a child with special needs, one of my most constant worries was what would happen to my child in the future, when I was no longer able to care for her. I have talked to many other parents and almost universally, this is the one worry that we have in common. I personally spent endless hours, very often at night when I desperately needed sleep, obsessing about this. It created so much anxiety that I developed chronic insomnia, high blood pressure and depression. If I had known that she would suddenly die just before her tenth birthday (the coroner’s report finally came back with “sudden, unexplained death”), how differently would I have lived my life?

I sincerely regret the wasted time I spent worrying about the future (that never happen!) and would certainly do things differently if I knew what I know now. However, one thing I would never change was my decision to be persuaded by my friend to take up belly dancing. I was at a very low ebb at the time, and without her insistence, I would not have done it. Thanks to her, what started as a hobby, blossomed into a life-changing interest that earned me money dancing professionally and resulted in me teaching belly dance. Back in 2004, an organisation called Carers Victoria launched a contest for carers to write about their experience. The best of the stories would be published in their magazine and five stories would be chosen to be read out by professional actors at Parliament House, Melbourne, at a celebration during Carers Week.

Not only was my story chosen to be read, but the organisers asked if I would also surprise the crowd by coming out in my costume and doing a dance straight after the reading of the story. It turns out, I was the first belly dancer ever in Parliament House, Melbourne. As I went through the security check, the guards were very intrigued as they checked my bags. Word went out, so that some of the civil servants who worked there came and stood at the back of the hall to watch!

After the event, I had a line of “admirers” queuing up to congratulate me and tell me how inspired they were by me and my story. It was my “15 minutes of fame” and was actually very overwhelming.

Below is the story I wrote all those years ago and I hope you find it entertaining and inspiring too. I now hold workshops for parents of special needs children, to share some of the tools and insights I have gained since my daughter passed away over 10 years ago. If you want to know more, you can check out the events page or email me at: Elizabeth@scientificsoundasia.com